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Monday, November 14, 2016

Jesus Teaches on Marriage and Divorce
By Glen Copple
20 years ago, this man and this woman stood up after church and said, “We want to get married.” Looking at our age, you know that is not saying much to you who have been married 19, 60+ years. Even so, we can examine God’s design for marriage against the world. I’m confessing up front that we had been previously married, but declare that God’s Word is true.

What is God’s design for our marriage?
In Matthew 19:3-12; Mark 10:2-12, some Pharisees ask Jesus about marriage and divorce. It would be for us to take seriously what He says.

1. God Designed MARRIAGE – Matthew 19:1b-4; Mark 10:1c-6
The Pharisees have a loose attitude towards marriage. A Pharisee that hadn’t divorced his wife was not considered a good Pharisee. They question Jesus in an attempt to justify divorce. Jesus challenges them with the Law of Moses. They say that Moses commanded them to divorce. Jesus reminds them that God designed marriage and divorce was because they were marrying people who would lead them away from following God.

We have become a culture that has adopted the Pharisaical view towards marriage as a way to hide our selfish unwillingness to keep our marriage vows. Many have been told that they have a “right to be happy” and when they disagree on some issue, this selfish “right” overshadows their love for one another and the tension escalates until they repent or they quit. Our challenge is to make our marriage successful for life. GOD’S way is always better.

1a. Marriage is ONE Man and ONE Woman – Matthew 19:5a; Mark 10:7
Jesus makes it very clear that God designed marriage to be the union of one man and one woman. He made male and female, not male and male. When they get married, they leave their family of origin and create a new family unit. Into this union, they create children who will one day pick a spouse of the opposite sex and create their own family unit and so life goes on. This is God’s design from the day of CREATION.

A simple class in anatomy will establish physically that man and woman are designed for each other. There is no way for homosexual behavior to reproduce.

1b. Marriage is a LIFETIME covenant – Matthew 19:5b-6;
Mark 10:8-9
Jesus reminds the Pharisees that marriage is a lifetime covenant. The sexual consummation symbolizes that union and anything else is a violation of God’s design. This is also a declaration that sexual intimacy is for marriage and anything else is sin.

God designed us to COMPLEMENT each other, not be in conflict with each other.

We seek a lifetime of love with that one person. We want to believe that this someone will be faithful to us, love us and be a part of our happiness for the rest or our lives. Everyone admires couples who remain married to each other for life.

When you got married for the very first time, you believed that this was going to be a lifetime relationship. We don’t realize that “happily ever after is lived one day at a time” and marriages require work in order to be “happy”. We then become disillusioned when conflict comes and our happiness becomes unhappy.

2. DIVORCE is not God’s Plan – Matthew 19:7-8
No couple gets married with the idea of getting a divorce.

The Pharisees continue pushing Jesus with their claim that Moses gave a command for them to divorce their wives. Jesus tells them that they have taken the Law out of context. God always says marriage is for LIFE. The reason God told them to divorce their wives was because they had married women from other nations and religions who God knew would turn them away from following Him. God never intended for them to divorce their Jewish wives. What does Jesus teach about divorce and why we should not end our marriages?

We got married believing that this relationship would last for the rest of our lives. However, too often, we forget that euphoria and start treating our mate as the enemy to be controlled, changed or gotten rid of. We pretend that breaking up a marriage is no big deal. We think it is easier to just get a divorce than to try to work out our problems. We feel bad for those we know who are going through a divorce. Marriage is a lifetime covenant.

3. Divorce is SIN – Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:10-12
Divorcing your wife for any reason other than infidelity (her having sexual relations with someone else) and then marrying someone else is sin. It is just as wrong for the husband to have sex outside of the marriage as it is for the wife.

3a. Divorce means that I don’t TRUST God in my marriage. It is interesting how a couple will want God to be in their wedding ceremony, but they don’t care to have Him in their marriage. And then, when communication breaks down and love gets hidden behind anger and selfishness, divorce is chosen as the solution instead of going back to God and trying to let Him back into the picture.

3b. Divorce means that you don’t know how to LOVE. If your spouse was good enough to marry, they are good enough to stay married to (unless they have committed adultery). Couples who get divorced create more problems than if they had stayed married and worked on their issues. Divorce causes more pain and suffering than they would have if they had stayed married and worked it out.

3c. Divorce means I’m SELFISH. We get upset with the person we promised to love and cherish for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until we are separated by death.

3d. Divorce means you are not a person of your WORD.

3e. Divorce means that you don’t respect the SEXUAL relationship between you and your spouse, nor the promise to keep myself to and her only.

4. SEX outside of marriage is sin
To have sex with someone you are not married to is a violation of God’s standards for the sexual relationship in marriage. Having sex with someone other than your spouse shows that you don’t respect God or your spouse. Sex is the most intimate way that a man and woman can express their love for each other. “Going all the way”.

5. Divorce is TOLERATED (not Unforgiveable) – Matthew 19:10-12
The Apostles come to Jesus after this remark and suggest that since marriage is so serious and divorce is so wrong, it isn’t even worth it to get married. Jesus advises them that marriage isn’t for everybody, neither is celibacy.

As much value as we place on marriage and having children, not everyone is so inclined. Some people are sufficiently fulfilled without a mate. Some are in professions that would make marriage a difficult or dangerous thing to maintain. There are also some who are so hurt by some event that marriage absolutely does not appeal to them.

If you get married, remember MARRIAGE is for life.

CONCLUSION
GOD declared that marriage is the union of one man and one woman for life.
MAN does not have the right to redefine God’s declaration.
DIVORCE is not part of God’s design for marriage.
Those who are divorced can be FORGIVEN.
Put your love and faith in Jesus Christ and let Him guide and bless your marriage.

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